It seems 2018 pulled a fast one on all of us. (Yeap, us too). The Ladies of Her Image have always been advocates of self-care. However, since reflecting on 2018 we have come to the conclusion that we all need to get a little more aggressive about how we self-care. It has been a major adjustment for 2 of us to go from working full time in the Military to working from home full time. Even being in the military and an entrepreneur you learn that you have to literally make time for self-care or else you may not get to it. Trust me, we have lived this out and ended up with the small stick. Life can be pretty stressful working 9-5 and a side hustle, or even working full time as an entrepreneur. Then when you consider the ultimate mission for why you do what you do, it becomes even more overwhelming. Consider how many times you have recited the two words,
"I QUIT"
in your head within the past year. Dee shares that she went through a phase for a couple of months consistently saying that she would quit almost everyday. It's not easy, but nothing in life that is worth it comes easy. So now, we are all getting more aggressive about self-caring this year and you should to.
1. Relaxing more
Being a creative I’m constantly wanting to try new things and create until my hands fall off but I must remember to give myself that time to relax and recollect. I know that if I don't, I can't give my all when working. Health is truly wealth!
2. Writing it down
I have so many ideas and I can be a scatter brain sometimes so I plan to write it all out and come back to them at a later time! When you write stuff down, regardless of whether you remember it or not, it finds a way to manifest. Ideas can never go to waste!
3. More self love
I’ve come such a long way when it comes to loving myself. As time goes on I fall deeper and deeper in love with myself and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I want to love me unconditionally and know when to walk away from situations and people that no longer serve a purpose in my life. No one is going to have my back like I do so it's important that I take care of myself. I am such a loving person but it's true, you honestly can't give your all when you lack in the self department.
1. Putting my mental health first
I have never felt so many emotions at once. In 2018 I struggled with anxiety, fell into a depression, reached my body goals, lost weight and gained weight, had clear skin, broke out all at the same time. It was truly a draining yet insightful year for me. The one thing I learned after spending most of my adult hood in the military is that mental health is more important than any other form of health because ultimately if you aren't right mentally that will soon trickle down into other aspects of your health. As black women or black people in general, we aren't taught how to put our mental health first so this year I'm making it my business to do just that.
2. Staying true to me
I have always been the type of person that knew I would be a big deal. I have always known I was dope however, in the past I have struggled with finding myself surrounded by so much noise that tries to force us to be everything but who we truly are. I have learned that in this discovery of self love if I don't mess with me authentically, how could anyone else. We all know faux when we see it.
3. Staying around positive energy
It's okay to be 'independent' but we must not lose sight of the limitless possibilities that stem from being around positive and impactful people. It wasn't until I moved alone that I realized I was the type of person that thrived off the energy of others. It's true. It is what it is and I'm done trying to fight that. I have saw more success and happiness in my collaborative efforts than anything else. Like Melinda Marie says,
"When she wins, we win."
1. Praying
Prayer to me is speaking to God via my internal portal/ connection to the source. I believe that it is the most intimate practice of self-care because it is centered around my faith, my beliefs, and my spiritual needs with no regard for outside influence. There are no rules, to how, when, and where I pray. I do it in a way that feels right to me, this is normally in the shower, as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, or as I lay in bed at night. I don’t pray for anything, in particular, instead, I acknowledge what I already have and confirm my connection to God. It strengthens my self - confidence by affirming that I am in alignment with divine order. Prayer one of my go-to self-care rituals because it is vital to my spiritual health and self-esteem.
2. Journaling
Like prayer, journaling is also a me me me self-care exercise. It’s where I can pour out the thoughts in my head with no judgment because everything stays between me and the pages of my journal. I’ve adopted the ‘morning pages format of journaling in the morning where I just write whatever comes to mind. I also use it to cope with anger, disappointment, and depressing/ down days. You’d be surprised how writing out your emotions can help you change them or at least give you a good laugh when you go back and read them later. Journaling is a must in my self-care routine because it is vital to my mental health and supports the creativity in me.
3. Wine
Drinking my nightly glass (or glasses) of wine symbolizes completion and gives me the imaginary approval to tune everyone out for the rest of the night and focus on me. It’s not necessarily the alcohol consumption that does it for me, just pouring that first glass gives me a sigh of relief even before taking my first sip. Having that “wine-down” ritual tells my subconscious that I deserve a break and it’s time to take it right now.
Have you grabbed your copy of Her Image first print magazine, the Visionary Issue?
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