One thing about black women, we know how to figure it the hell out and we know how to bring in the bag by any means necessary. We are single mothers, first-generation college graduates, and a product of generational oppression. Despite the obvious social injustices we encounter, we are not allowed to use them as an excuse not to make ends meet. Regardless, we have to make it happen and in all actuality, we are doing a darn good job at bringing home the bacon. We are building businesses, holding head honcho corporate positions, and climbing the ranks becoming lead military officials. Not every black woman can relate to the fashion sense or non-conservative views that female rappers like City Girls or Cardi B possess but we can all respect their views on the importance of getting money. Our adversities have fueled us to be relentless about chasing a check. So why is it that a culture infused with hustle still manages to live paycheck to paycheck, have $10,000 or more in debt, and lack assets?
In this article, I am going to explore what I consider to be the reasons why black women that are broke are still and will continue to be broke. I could dig up supporting statistics from economic authorities such as debt.com or the Federal Reserve but instead, I’m going to stand with my demographic and acknowledge the struggle that I too face instead of talking about it as if I’m any different. Now before you read on I must warn you that if you are a person that doesn't like being told that their shit stinks too, this article is especially for you!
Step 1: Admit it. You are also a part of the problem
Disassociating ourselves from the statistics is part of the issue. We all know the keys to having money is to save more than we spend, budget below our means, and plan for emergencies but we do not practice what we preach. We talk as if these basic rules don’t apply to our lifestyle. We tell our children to save but we spend our last dime, like the last-last dime- the dime that should have gone toward paying the phone bill on buying toddlers the latest iPhone. No matter how much we teach our children, they are going to do what they see not what we say so the cycle continues. Children know that parents are not rich because they hear us adults complain about bills and lack of “McDonald’s” money all the time. Let's be real, we don't tell them they can't have it because they don't need it, we tell them they can't have it because we don't have it.
Step 2: Stop falling for it
Simultaneously, they also see us driving cars off the lot and putting non-necessities like designer shoes, 5-star meals, and electronics on credit. This gives the impression that we deserve nice things even if we can’t afford them. We have no problem borrowing money to pay for things we don't need with no plan on how we are going to pay it back. At the age of 18 college students with no solid income sign their name to $40,000 plus worth of debt with no specific idea on what career they plan to pursue after graduation. They just pursue a general degree plan because they were told that they could just figure it out on the way and google told them this job pays six figures. Newsflash : You can get a J O B until you figure out what you need to go to college for. But no body wants to be old in school like it makes you any less or more worthy when you have that paper in your hand that you paid thousands of dollar for. You may discover that college is not for you at all and you can make money and be happy without it. These scenarios are too common to be a coincidence. They are apart of an epidemic that is keeping us broke.
By now you’re probably giving me all kind of “Yaaaassss Preach Sis” applauds right? or you're still in denial that this isn't you but will read on because something deep down agrees. If not, you can at least see my point of view on how our actions with money and credit don't always make sense. My point is we get money but we do dumb things with money anyway because of our money mindset. Our mindset on money has been poisoned by our parent's lack of financial literacy and media providing us with false realities of what wealth looks like. We don’t want to spend all our money frivolously on things like fast food, but we do it daily. It’s a habit. It’s apart of our lifestyle and routine. We were all taught that the habits to generate money is to get up and go to work every day but we were not taught the habits that will accumulate wealth. Think about it! Chances are you always saw the head of your household work, but did you see them sit down routinely and budget? Did you see them tracking their spending? More than likely the only thing your parents taught you about money is that "you don't need that" and "we don't have it". Not to go all philosophical on you but we have been brainwashed to stay broke. Our subconscious mind believes that we are broke even when we are making six figures a year. Therefore do things to keep us in a position that registers to our subconscious mind. We are broke because we inherited a broke mindset from parents that inherited a broke mindset from parents that had no money due to slavery. We can not fix this overnight. My theory is that acknowledging our current mindset, and making a conscious effort to make small changes is the key to start reversing this curse.
Step 3: Get outcho feelings and in yo bag
Now that we stated the obvious and pointed out mindset as the root cause of our money issues let’s talk about what happens when we genuinely try to get our ish together. We say “I am not going to swipe that credit card”, “I am not eating out during the week”, or “I am sticking to a budget”. Then a friend invites you to your favorite restaurant. The kids need something for school or an extracurricular activity. That little voice in your head tells you “you deserve it” and boom your plan and your money goes out the window. Even when we have a plan to take control of our money we guilt ourselves into spending money that we need. This is a prime example of pouring from an empty cup. We as women are expected to take care of everything and everyone. Even when we honestly don’t have it to give we feel obligated to give and guilty for saying no. There are no feelings in funds.
I am an advocate for us women using our graceful feminine energy to maneuver around this world but in the case of money management, I say GO SAVAGE! It’s the only option because when it finally hits the fan and you are facing repo, foreclosure or eviction. Those same people that you gave to will judge you and ask how could you be so irresponsible with your money. Even if you aren’t faced with naysayers you will feel humiliated and ashamed for allowing yourself to be so careless. This is a tough one to overcome because most people have based their lifestyle and social media on a lie. If you are driving around in a brand new Dodge Charger, talking on the new iPhone, and partying every weekend it’s hard to admit that you do not have $50 dollars to spare. Especially if the request is coming from someone that you care about. Then it seems as if you are telling them “I have money, I’d just rather spend it on myself”. In reality that is true, our priorities are expressed in the way that we spend our money. Admit that your priorities were jacked up in the past but you are changing now and put your foot down about it. Say no.
Lastly, let’s get back to those habits that we mentioned earlier. We have talked about how our mindset and feelings are holding us back financially but changing our actions are the end game and ultimate remedy. There are 24 hours in a day and many of us spend 40 hours a week making money but how much time do we spend managing it? We get our paycheck, pay the bills that we have to pay, and spend the rest on who knows what. We avoid writing down a budget because we feel like there is no money left to budget. We get overwhelmed looking at the debt that we owe so we avoid opening mail, e-mails and answering calls.
Unfortunately, this is a problem that only grows bigger when ignored. Facing the facts will not only get you started in the right direction but it may also be a stress reliever. Once you conquer the immediate resistance and anxiety of facing your financial fears, you can get a clear plan of how you can improve or simply take charge of your financial situation. Chances are, it is not as bad as you think. With some small intentional efforts, you may be able to start stacking some of that money you are bringing in.
Now let's recap because truth is this information probably went through one ear and out the other when truth is we know its time for a change. Our unhealthy relationship with money stems from our past and upbringing. Technically, it’s not all your fault so do not beat yourself up, you're already broke. That’s bad enough. We are all battling the same struggles and generational curses but now it is up to us to break the curse and take ownership of our irresponsible money mindset. Feelings of guilt and shame can keep you from being honest about your finances. Don’t let that stop you, be brave enough to admit it. Simply stand firm and say “NO, I’m broke and working on changing my situation”. Period. Finally, put those small habits in place and stick to them. Budget on a regular basis no matter how uncomfortable it is. If you need some motivation, check out Stacey Flowers on youtube. She shares her very real journey to breaking free from $200,000 of debt by budgeting. Find an accountability partner that will help you stick to it. Don’t go out and pay for some fancy program or credit repair service. Find someone who is on the journey as well and need accountability too. You do not need perfect, you need real, we need real. Okay girl, writing this has been a #NoteToSelf but I hope that you got some realization and motivation from it now let's get to this bag.
Before you go, here are a few books that I have personally read and love that will get you started towards achieving your money making goals:
- Melinda Marie